


Niche Interests

by JamOnToast



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Breeding Kink, Established Relationship, F/M, Hair-pulling, Hotch is not impressed, Jealous!Spencer Reid, Nerds having sex, Pet Names, Smut, Switch!Spencer Reid, Unprotected Sex, facts about bigfoot, facts about sex, sex in a disused office, switch!Reader, the bigfoot facts are unrelated to the sex i just know stuff about cryptids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:21:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24826714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JamOnToast/pseuds/JamOnToast
Summary: Spencer's always the one rattling off facts that nobody needs to know, and reader always tells him she loves it. During a briefing, reader rattles off her own niche set of facts, and Spencer realises exactly how hot rambling can be.
Relationships: Spencer Reid/Original Female Character(s), Spencer Reid/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 311





	Niche Interests

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first published smut, cross-posted on my tumblr pumpkin-goob, i wrote it at 1am and any mistakes are my own.  
> This takes place in the gap between seasons six and seven.

‘Four bodies have been found in Six Rivers National Forest.’ Garcia introduced the latest case, steadfastly keeping her gaze away from the projected images behind her. ‘No obvious similarities, there’s no definite age, race, gender, sexuality component - just that they’ve all been killed with the same M.O.’  
‘Which is?’ Rossi asked, frowning at the screen.  
‘Torn to pieces.’ She swallowed hard, clicking the remote. ‘Honestly it looks more like an animal attack than anything a human could do, but according to the Park Service there’s no way an animal could’ve done this.’ She displayed an image - one of the bodies was still somewhat intact with large gashes across it’s chest.  
‘Looks like claw marks.’ Morgan pointed out.  
‘Far too precise.’ You squinted at the images, ‘They’re deep enough to have cut into almost every major organ.’  
‘Which is why some people have taken to advancing some more… unconventional theories.’ Garcia nodded.  
‘Oh?’  
‘A cryptid.’ She answered, ‘Six Rivers is a Bigfoot hotspot.’  
‘Bigfoot?’ Morgan scoffed.  
‘Actually, it’s not as implausible as it sounds.’ You shrugged, ‘It’s possible that what we call Bigfoot is part of a larger species - they’ve been sighted in almost every state, and cultures across the world have tales of wild men or giants.’ You looked through the photos of the victims absently, continuing to spout everything you knew, ‘One of the first Bigfoot reports was in 1958, but stories have dated back to at least the 1840s. The tales usually stem from European and Native American folklore, but more recently increased environmental concerns have seen people argue that the Bigfeet might retaliate. Almost every language has its own word for a Bigfoot figure, yknow? A wild man, or hairy man, we have tales of Bigfoot, the Yeti, the Abominable Snowman… As unlikely as the stories are, there’s clearly something about them that speaks to humanity’s baser instincts - the concept of an apelike monster living in the woods, or at least in a somewhat isolated habitat, is incredibly common, so it’s unsurprising that these people - especially in that area of the Pacific Northwest - are suggesting it and believing it’s a possibility.’  
The rest of the team was quiet.  
You looked up to find them staring at you, ‘What? Reid’s the only one allowed to have niche interests?’  
‘Bigfoot?’ Morgan raised an eyebrow.  
‘Cryptozoology is fascinating,’ You shrugged, ‘Honestly I’m surprised it’s taken this long for us to have a case that could overlap with it.’  
Hotch raised a solitary eyebrow, ‘In any case, the rate of killings has increased, so we’ve been called in to assist and hopefully find the unsub before more rumours circulate.’  
‘It’s almost a million acres.’ You pointed out, ‘We’ll need a way of narrowing it down.’  
‘It’s actually 974,612 acres,’ Spencer corrected lightly, ‘I can try to work up a geographic profile on the jet.’  
‘Great.’ Hotch nodded, ‘Wheels up in thirty.’  
~~~  
Now, wheels up in thirty wasn’t always the case… sometimes one of the team took slightly too long to get there and it was more like forty, sometimes everyone got there after twenty and Hotch somehow managed to clear it with the pilot to leave early.  
Those cases were only very rare, but, as a hand grabbed your arm on your way past a couple of offices leading to Garcia’s cave, you were pretty sure today was gonna end in a late take off.  
Scratch that, you were certain. Especially when Spencer shut the door heavily as soon as you crossed the threshold. He pushed you back against it, pressing his lips to yours almost frantically, his hands working their way beneath the fabric of your shirt before you could fully comprehend what was going on. Your go-bag slid from your fingers as you gave in to the heat of him, hands trailing into his hair, nails at his scalp as his mouth pulled away from yours.  
As he started sucking at your neck - sure not to leave any marks, of course - you tried in vain to catch your breath.  
‘What’s this for?’ You gasped.  
He pulled back from you, grinning, ‘I think I understand why you think my rambling is sexy.’  
‘Oh really?’ You smiled, pushing him back lightly, moving round him to sit on the (thankfully empty) desk. You didn’t know or care which office you’d ended up in. ‘If this is what happens I guess I’ll have to ramble more often.’  
Spencer licked his lips, ‘Maybe you will.’ He moved to stand in front of you, parting your legs easily and pressing himself against you. ‘You feel what you did to me, little girl?’  
You did. He was almost painfully hard, the fabric of his pants straining desperately.  
‘Are you a sapiosexual, Doctor?’ You smiled up at him.  
‘Takes one to know one.’ He reached between you, pushing your skirt up and rubbing against your underwear, ‘Is all that wetness for me, slut?’  
You bit your lip, ‘Actually Morgan walked by me just before you pulled me in here so-‘ you broke off with a squeak as your head was yanked back, his fist in your hair.  
Fuck you loved it when he got jealous… and it was so easy to prompt it.  
‘You wanna try again?’ He growled, slipping a finger under the fabric to circle your clit.  
‘Yes, Doctor, it’s all for you.’  
He growled, kissing you fiercely again and removing the pressure on your nub, ‘Good.’  
Shifting, you moved further onto the desk, spreading as wide as your skirt would allow, and pulling Spencer after you with a hand on his tie, ‘I have a wager, Doctor.’  
He grinned, one hand still in your hair, the other unbuttoning his pants, ‘You shouldn’t bet against a guy from Vegas, little girl.’  
‘I think you’ll approve.’ You pulled his tie off quickly, ‘Whoever knows something about sex that the other doesn’t know wins.’  
‘What do I win?’ His gaze darkened.  
You laughed, ‘I win free reign after the case. Twenty four hours to do whatever I want with you.’  
He growled, ‘Deal.’ Pushing his underwear down, and yours aside, he slid the head of his cock against your slit, ‘I’ll start easy: the clitoris has over eight thousand nerve endings, twice as many as in the head of the penis.’  
‘Too easy.’ You countered, ‘On average it takes five to seven minutes for a man to reach orgasm and ejaculate.’  
‘Now who’s easy?’ He laughed, pushing two fingers inside you, ‘A vagina is between two to four inches deep, but when sexually aroused, it can stretch between four to eight inches.’  
‘Fuck…’ you breathed, reaching to unbutton his shirt as his thumb moved to your clit, circling in time with his fingers’ thrusts, ‘A systematic review of 15,521 men found that the average - oh shit - length of an erect penis was 5.17 inches long, with an average circu-fuck-circumference of 4.59.’  
He withdrew his hand, making you whimper for only a moment before he started playing with your nipples and slid himself inside you slowly, inch by inch.  
‘You’re such an overachiever.’ You panted as he slid all the way in, the both of you taking a moment to bask in the feeling of each other.  
He pulled on your hair lightly, reattaching his lips to your neck as you bared it for him, head flung back in pleasure as he thrust into you, ‘The female orgasm can last for two minutes.’ He whispered to you, ‘When I win, you’ll find out.’  
You groaned, ‘You shouldn’t be so cocky, Doctor.’  
He thrust particularly hard, ‘Thought you enjoyed it, slut.’  
‘Oh I do,’ you grinned, pulling his face to yours and kissing him fiercely. Not once did he stop his rhythm, even when you moved his hands from you, pulling his shirt off his shoulders but stopping below the elbows, lightly restraining him (though you both knew how easily he could get free). Wrapping your legs around his waist, you sat up, both groaning at the change in angle. You leant forward, licking a stripe across his chest until you reached a nipple, grazing your teeth over it, one hand tweaking his other.  
His thrusts stuttered, ‘Shit, Doctor, I… oh fuck…’ you clenched around him. ‘I… I need to…’  
‘Not yet little boy.’ You teased, kissing you way to his neck, ‘Did you know, a lot of people believe that men’s nipples aren’t sensitive, but it’s been shown that many men’s nipples are actually more sensitive than those of their female partners, and stimulation can enhance arousal in around 52% of men?’  
‘I did, actually.’ He groaned, pushing you back down onto the desk, putting his mouth to use on your breasts, darting between them to not give too much attention to one or the other, his hips still working frantically, one hand rubbing your clit again as your fingers carded in his hair.  
You’d almost forgotten anyone could walk in at any moment, until a particularly hard thrust had you calling ‘Shit, Spencer!’ a little too loudly, and his other hand came up to cover your mouth.  
‘Shhh, Doctor.’ He whispered, ‘Wouldn’t want Morgan to walk by again and hear you.’  
‘Then come here and kiss me, Doctor.’  
He hummed against your breasts, doing as you asked after another thrust. ‘Gonna make you cum, little girl.’ He groaned against your lips, ‘Feel you milking me, taking my load like a good little slut.’  
You whimpered, ‘Fuck, Spencer…’  
‘Gonna fill you up,’ he kissed you, losing his rhythm as he got closer, ‘make you carry my kids… fuck you’d look so hot…’  
‘Th-thought I already did?’ You panted.  
‘Shit yes,’ he nodded, rubbing your clit faster, ‘always… fuck, if you hadn’t… made me hard with your… oh god… your facts, I’d have fucked you in this skirt on the jet when everyone else was asleep.’  
You groaned, ‘Shit, Spence…’ you gasped, ‘I’m… I’m gonna-‘  
Your orgasm hit you like a train, knocking the wind out of you as you tried your hardest to stay quiet, Spencer continuing to thrust in and out as you rode the waves of pleasure. He kept going as you lay back, completely spent but okay with the slight overstimulation as you knew it wouldn’t take long for him to release.  
Less than thirty seconds later, his hands gripped your hips as a low groan left his throat and he filled you up, taking a moment to catch his breath before he pulled out, replacing your underwear quickly to stop anything dripping on the carpet.  
He replaced his shirt and tie quickly, helping you off the desk as you attempted to fix your hair, opting to simply pull it into a ponytail.  
You grinned at him as he straightened the tie, ‘You got another fact for me, Doctor?’  
He nodded, kissing you deeply, ‘did you know,’ he moved to whisper in your ear, ‘I love you.’  
You reeled back, staring at him in shock.  
He kissed you again, ‘I win.’  
As he moved to the door, picking up both your bags as he went, you followed silently, using the second before he opened it to whisper, ‘I love you too,’ shocking him just as much.  
‘I guess it’s a tie.’ He smiled shyly, swinging the door open and heading down the corridor. You followed after a moment, checking your watch before cursing loudly, rushing after your boyfriend towards the jet.  
Wheels up in… about 60…  
Hotch was going to kill you.


End file.
